Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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