I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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