She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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