I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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