Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
