Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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