How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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