I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
