I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
