Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
