please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
