the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They have beer where we have blood.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
