that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
