You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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