I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
