I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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