i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
