Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
