Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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