Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
