Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
