You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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