I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ttyl tear gas
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
