He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
