I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
