I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
