adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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