Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
there is glitter all over my balls
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
