I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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