Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
