ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
our cab driver is having phone sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
