Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
