We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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