Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
