HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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