i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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