Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Randomize
