One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Everything about him screamed your future.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
God, I missed his penis.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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