I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
