i think my tv is drunk
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
