When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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