If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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