everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need water and some morals
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
