i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
