But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
