There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
