I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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