North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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