real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
