O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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