Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
