remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do you still have your period?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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