you guys were way drunker than both of me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
